For someone hesitant to go public with her personal thoughts, the two decades and a half have lifted that veil somewhat. If writing for Sandesh is a benchmark, that is. I never did while at school but am doing so 25 years later. It seems to me an incidental yet important reflection of the then and now.
Those years would have meant incremental shaping for many, and they would have thrown up game-changers for some of us. When Kirti sent me an indicative brief, one of the themes, quite logically, was ‘what you expected of life when you were at school and what you actually experienced’. That did trigger thoughts, Kirti, but the stock-taking would be more of a ramble, especially with no baseline, in hindsight.
It was not for me to have then known my lodestar.
I amiably ambled through school, classes and conversations, circumscribed by the absence of a lived-in worldview. Much that I did was merely to ease the passing of time.
I can recall some intersections there, with Raj Batra taking strong exception to my amusement at her sanskriti lectures on grihasthi ke do pahiye, et al (I understand now what she meant though I still do not agree with the ordain of compromise at any cost), with Kona Roy taking very strong exception to my being a “grinning jackass” (I can’t at all remember what made me so delirious but I strongly empathise with her eloquent exposition about whole souls heaving up when unshackled from the monotony of industry). In balance, I think, Juggi’s expressive liking of my then avatar was a faith restorer, as was Talli’s subtle approval when I happened to meet her offline, in and around Khan Market.
I also ambled through with fleeting daydreams of being actively wooed by at least some of the guys, though my heart didn’t break when none did…
Yet, it was alongside the churning of people equations through S4D to S7F that I evolved as an individual, albeit half-baked. I have carried fond memories of my companions and those I crossed paths with in that part of the journey, though I lost track of it all within one year of exiting that comfort zone. I do kind of envy those who managed the transition in continuity with those very relationships.
It struck me just five years back that my second biggest link with school days was with the rows of nasturtiums in the art block that I recall resurging year after year. A foggy January walk in Delhi’s Nehru Park at a particularly tough-to-navigate crossroad in my life took me back to that space. I made my peace there, found inspiration, if you will, too, and placed the association as a core part of the toolkit in my backpack. My most prized takeaway though, is the set of close friendships that resurrected subsequently, with the decadal gap redundant and relevant at the same time.
Yet, I don’t know how I will feel at the re-created morning assembly. Will it lead me further into introspection? Shall I be the grinning jackass all over again? I might want both, actually. And that may well speak for many of us coming back to regroup as the batch of 1984.
1 comment:
From Kanika Chopra Grover
The whole reunion thing brought a lot of memories flooding back, I think it was the mention of bunsamosas that did it. I had thought of MHS as a small chapter in my life, something that I’d managed to live through and walk away from, with a few good friends, some good memories, some not so good....
I didn’t feel a part of this reunion, didn’t realise how much MHS meant to me, felt it was “your” school not mine, I just passed through. But you know what? it was mine as well. Not coming to this reunion will be a regret.
I came from an all girls’ school, nerdy, unfashionable, in awe of all of you privileged types. S6 was a miserable year, will not dwell on it. Suffice to say, I remember some people who were especially kind, thanks Vikram, you brightened many a miserable day.
But something happened in S7. I think the school finally got to me. I always felt later that modern was a school, which, if any child had any talent, managed to bring it out. What changed? Why did the shy, awkward, reticent me suddenly decide to run for house captain? I don’t know, but I won the election fair and square.
The Rajasthan trip. What was it you said GB, I was the “discovery” of the trip. A lot of things you said about me stuck in my memory you know, “ slow on the uptake”, ok but burey phatte bahut marti hai”.
Life was different for the next few months. I loved being with you all, your awful puns GB, Haris’s constant double meanings, Punya’s sheer crazy brain power, Hartosh’s gentle humour and Suri’s attitude. And Mahip how beautiful you were! And Poonam you were not a “grinning idiot” you were light hearted, how much we all laughed, sitting in the front lawns...
The house function. It meant a lot to me you know, that we had “the most successful house function of the year”. And how everyone worked! The flower arrangements, the costumes, the sets, the performances. I sang, at a time when I couldn’t speak for Laryngitis! Still a regret though, couldn’t treat everyone afterwards, the remaining funds mysteriously disappeared. I didn’t handle that well; I was too shocked at the audacity, too heartsick that some people thought I had taken the money. Besides there were the approaching Board exams. So busy preparing for the house function that I scored an Almighty 43% in maths! No, it was time to knuckle down and concentrate on studies.
And life moved on. Why did we not keep in touch? I really valued your friendship Chanda.
And Deepika, some of my best memories are roaming around Janpath with you. Do you remember the cake we shared in Kanishka with the cherry on top? I have never laughed so much in my life! We fell out over your photographs remember? I looked for them for years...
Anyway, to the present. I’m a Developmental paediatrician working with some of the most vulnerable children, married to a wonderful man, with three gorgeous children. Would love to get back in touch with the few people who might remember me.
Kanika Grover(Chopra)
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